Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Is it Too Late to Apologize?

I have a burden I feel I need to share. I don't know how appropriate this forum is to share this with you, but you know what, it's my blog- and I can rant if I want to. This week has brought about some serious soul searching for me. Laying in bed, jacked up on cough medicine and playing wedding shows on Netflix can make a girl emotional. 

Just so you where I am coming from a bit, I moved to Tampa all by myself a year ago in January. My life back home was the same mundane ritual over and over. School, family, sleep, boyfriend, day after day, and I was not getting anything accomplished for me. When I was accepted to the University of South Florida, I was elated. I knew that this is my opportunity to start my life over again. Coming to Tampa, I only had my very favorite cousin, let's call her Savannah. Her and her boyfriend were the only things I had to hold on too when I moved here- and I held on tight. 

We had a falling out, and since then I have made an effort to improve my life on my own. I vowed to make my own friends and create my own life. Although every day I miss them and wish we could repair what we had, I have made my dreams come true. People who used to be shadows in the background of my first new life here are now in the center of my second new life here.

I feel like I am in a constant state of rebirth, I think I have reinvented myself more than Madonna, and I have stepped on a ton of good people along the way. This, is what I feel like I need to apologize for. 

To my friends and family back home- I am sorry that I left with out taking the time to celebrate the relationships we created, and not really letting anyone new into my life after I got into USF. I'm sorry that I could not find peace with myself down there , or stick through the bad times. Home has a special place in my heart, and it will always be my home.

To my cousin here in Tampa- I love you. I don't want to continue to live my life with out, and I honestly want to do whatever I can to bring back what we had. You are my everything, please call me or text me or send a smoke signal, something.

To my new friends here in Tampa- I am sorry that I have been such an emotional wreck lately. Thank you for being my friends and being here for me whenever I need you. I hope that the friendship that we have created can last us forever, because we are totes cute. 



  1. Ugh, I cried. I miss my family from other states too, and you are such a loving person. :'(

    1. Aww, thank you! It sucks to be away from family!

  2. Very touching post. I appreciate your honesty. Thank you for letting us see into your personal life. Some things I would have liked to see in the post :

    -where you're from, and a description of what kind of place it is (for example- small, rural town? etc. )

    -some details about why you had a falling out with your cousin, even if it's just a minor detail

    maybe that's just me being nosy, but I think some extra detail could have made your post even stronger.

    and yes, it's very hard to move on. Right now I'm kind of in the situation you were in BEFORE you came to USF. I've lived here my whole life. It takes a lot of courage to move somewhere new on your own. So good for you ! now get back to couponing. no more sad stuff. ;) haha

    1. Thank you for your feedback! I am always trying to get better at blogging, and I love reading your blog so your feedback means a lot to me!

      No worries, I am done with the boo-hooing, and back to the saving!

  3. This post was touching and highly relatable. I left a lot of family and friends when I came to USF as well. I hope you can fix your relationships and be sure to tell the people you care about you love them. People don't usually get the roses while they can still smell them.